Category Archives: Idiots

Oh you gotta be HEININ’ me Tennessee

I am emotionally distressed because I can’t fuck Larissa Riquelme… so this pic is illegal

Apparently this isn’t a joke. Tennessee has made it illegal for shocking or offensive images that could cause emotional distress to be posted on the internet. I don’t even know what to say about this. You guys are fucked in the head. That’s about all I got. The governor actually signed this into law… an elected official. Well suck my dick and call me Sally this is just absurd. Fuckin’ twilight zone shit down there, they can just ignore the First Amendment completely and the only thing we say is “jesus those people are stupid”.

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Who’s retarded now?

Just read this great article that provided me with some, I’m assuming, legitimate data for something I’ve considered many times: the quality of a democracy depends on the education level of the average voter. My thoughts are usually more in the form of “why are there so many god damn retards out there?” There’s an actual graph of the relationship between gov’t quality and avg. education, but here’s an excerpt:

In order to evaluate the actions of politicians, voters need to be able to process the available information and understand the impact of the actions of elected officials on their welfare. Voters unable to process information and make rational decisions are as ineffective as uninformed voters. Winston Churchill, who had a dismal view on voters’ ability to process information, once said: “the best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter”.

When we’ve got Mike Huckabee–a legit candidate in 2008–saying “[abortion] transcends all of the political issues”, then we’ve got fuckin’ problems. Huckabee, as much as I don’t wanna admit it, is obviously a pretty smart dude. But do you think he actually believes that bullshit? Heeellllll no. But there are PLENTY of people in this country that do… and he’ll gladly scoop those votes when he needs them. I mean seriously. Not the economy. Not education. I’d even accept fuckin’ airport security over this shit. Abortion! But… what are ya gonna do?

It’s hard not to feel depressed about all this. I mean I regularly bitch about the bullshit politicians do, but the reason they vote in lockstep over every single partisan issue is because that’s how they’ll get re-elected. The political process isn’t dangerous, it’s expected. What’s dangerous is the amount of people who vote for someone based solely on their party-affiliation, or their position on one or two issues. Down in Alabama, Billy Bob doesn’t know jack shit about the Dodd-Frank Act. But you can bet your sweet ass the second he finds out his district’s rep wants to close down all the Chic-fil-A’s in the state, he’ll be voting for the other guy.

Just remembered this video… laughing at the beginning and screaming at the end:

Dimepiece at 2:15 tho… that stutter is cool with me cutie.

Weinerface

WEINER!

Well I’m gonna be completely honest here. Ain’t shocked in the least by what this guy is admitting to right now.

  1. Has had online relationships with at least 6 women in the last 3 years. Word
  2. Never met any of the women. Ok, I’ll believe that
  3. Will not lay out what happened in the relationships. Good move.

I am on the other hand loving this little part. The reporters are hounding him now for the age of the women, saying these girls were only a few years older than his kids. Ummm… I’m gonna go ahead and say he’s prolly not tryin’ to swap dirty talk with a 40 year-old housewife. If anything that’s the most relieving part of this whole thing. Hey guys, at least the bitches weren’t old right?

Best quotes from the whole press conference, both happened as he’s walking off stage:

  1. Were you fully erect or flaccid in the photograph?
  2. Do you plan to support Governor Schwarzenegger’s love child?

Let a player play.

Moronic behavior at its finest

 

K, where’s my gun I need to go shoot some people. Honestly… what!? Is this real life? I’m almost at a loss for words, let me get this straight. Lady declines body scan machine because she’s embarrassed about how disgusting she is. Gets patted down by TSA officer and makes a ridiculous scene because her fat chesticles got touched. This is how you’re gonna “reveal the atrocities occurring at airport security” that’s getting everyone all worked up lately? Ummm… go fuck yourself. That is directed at every single person who agrees with the people in this video.

First off, lady you are a boar. Repulsive in every single way. Nobody is going to feel you up unless it’s literally a strict job requirement. Second, the body scanner is there so you don’t have to get patted down… you declined it. You know who declines a body scan 100% of the time? A fuckin’ terrorist. A person with a god damn bomb shoved up their ass. Where do you hide shit? Where people aren’t gonna look. You don’t tape a knife to your forearm, you shove it into that cavernous, dust-ridden cleavage you got there. You wanna decline the ultra-simple body scan that only requires you to stand still for a few seconds? Fine, we’re gonna pat your nasty ass down. I despise these kind of people. They think that every little thing is a god damn conspiracy. Take off my shoes? THEY’RE COVERING UP THE KENNEDY ASSASSINATION! BIGFOOT EXISTS! WE NEVER LANDED ON THE MOON! I KNEW IT!

On the other hand, there is something that requires some press about airlines. And that is the size of the seats. If I had to sit next to this fuckin’ bag of hein for a 4 hour flight I can guarantee you it will end in me killing her or me killing me. Rather shove a stick up my dickhole than spend 5 minutes next to this lady.